The Hungry Bhatia

Where Goes The Shadow?

2010-07-07T18:13:00.000+05:30

The tired earth tosses slowly her sides
Inching closer to slumber with measured strides
The black city-ghosts grow taller, but weak
The birds all fly west, with spirited shrieks

The body goes to rest, the mind, to squander,
The weary go home, the homeless go wander
The fallen go back, the hopeful go on
But 'tis only a soft-glow, what once brightly shone

The long fingers of the Sun are done caressing the shore
The day of Life is done asking for more
Its quiver now empty, where goes the arrow?
The flame now goes out, where goes the shadow?

-Amit

The Closet

2010-05-13T19:57:00.003+05:30

You were away that night.

I tip-toed into your room
and opened your closet
rummaging through this and that

I found him hiding
behind some old knick-knacks
on the third shelf on the right.

Afraid to speak,
looking scared
in spite of the perpetual grin on his face;
I offered him some courage from the bottle in my pocket
He drank it all up as I stared into his empty sockets
And then he spoke.
We spoke.
About this and that
and we laughed
till I innocently slipped in the Question
and he slipped, replied.
Then stopped.

You were away that night.
You, who will never return.

-Amit

Pause;

2010-03-25T00:00:00.002+05:30

Pause;

rewind;
walking back, backwards, behind
the gate, up the steps,
rushing backward frame by frame
yellow leaves floating up,
attaching to whence they came
breathing out, and then in
unlike how it should have been
up the passage, through the door
till i'm back face-to-face
with your
mesmerizing eyes;
I was...

Pause;

The Last Waltz

2010-03-24T23:08:00.001+05:30

The spotlight's on,
we're figure-skating to a song,
the thrill of the ride's just coming on
as we ease into a gentle bend
wind in my face, hair stands on end
i get a feeling something's wrong
and my mind is screaming
hold on
hold on to this
but u let go
and i let go

and we move on to other things
a graceful turn, we're still afloat
as we glide across this big ring
but did you notice too, on different boats
did time just drag us with its flow
or did i miss a trick you seemed to know

and as i twirl
and as you twirl
and just as we are waltzing by
a turn of fate, i catch your eye
and in that moment i ask you why
a thousand beats my heart it skips
and time slows down as you reply
"Dude, i'm sorry! My hand just slipped"

The Flight

2010-02-24T23:21:00.002+05:30

At least nine feet above the tallest man
he lords over the crowd from where he stands
watching waiters criss-crossing the room
ladies clinking glasses and men blowing fumes
his sharp eye catches the one to impress
(kohl-lined eyes, in the black dress)
He squares his shoulders and adjusts his bow
settles his hair and gets to ready to go
step by step down the flight of stairs
gradually losing his height and airs
finally standing at the foot of the flight
the crowd now stares down at his brief height
the scared little boy adjusts his shorts and specs
suddenly wary of strange aunts' pecks
he skips down the hall to find his dad
and ice cream and soda and fun to-be-had

Red Light!

2010-02-18T00:59:00.000+05:30

Are you me, beggar-man
Are you me, homeless child,
walking the road
with a different plan
Is that me, with a limp
and no place to call home
There, is that me,
with a different chromosome
Is that me, selling toys
at the corner, selling joys
without a roof on my head,
and the streets for a bed
Is that me, with a whip and a painted zeal
cracking it up for a decent meal
Does the hand with the bowl belong to me
Is that me at the crossing fast asleep
Is the teary eye mine
that's staging a play
to somehow get by another day

As I roll up my window
and the lights turn green
I notice the old man who has been
standing around
with eyes so gray and hair so brown
animatedly pointing to what i half-ate
with a smile that hides an unkind fate
Is that me, is that me
with my luck turned down
Is that me, is that me
I ruminate

Love Story

2010-02-14T18:12:00.001+05:30

All my waking hours spent
i see you 'fore whatever fate it sends
to fill my day
day-dreaming never about you
but yet you're there with every blink i take
and all the falls i stake
you bleed for me
just as i have cried
each time you tried and fought to be with me
this is complicated
don't ever think you're underrated
but you, you will never see
it's just a state of me
that i accept
except, this isn't love, and i dare not dig you,
don't ever think we're free
or if we'll ever be
the fact remains that you and i
will swing together, see the world together
and sense and sensibility
will be pervaded and captivated
like it always used to be
each time i snuck away with you
to the million places you led me secretly
cos our attachment goes far beyond
than love and all its chronic bonds
and everybody knows,
you're mine, i take you with me
where'r the road it goes
and die to feel you breathe with me,
my long nose

-Amit

The Painted Dream

2010-01-31T08:45:00.001+05:30

The painted dream lies beaten, stretched
the maker now she rues
t'was bright and gold in mem'ry ethched
but now turns murky hues
On summer's eve the wish was cast
t'was tempered in the day
nightfall, darkness was surpassed
at dawning shied away
Strands of grief pluck'd on the harp
a sad song wells the eyes
for lack of change when fools denied
her burger, coke and fries

-Amit

The Bar

2010-01-23T23:16:00.001+05:30

Escorted to a trendy bar
driven down in an obtuse car
greeted by an old grouch,
I see Lazy lying draped over an ample couch
picking on his teeth and a tobacco pouch
looking like he'd just shot up some coke
now making castles with rings of smoke
Lust lowers his shades to check the pretty thing out
and rubs his chest and begins to pout
Pesky little Morals raise a meek little shout
but finally give in to the cheering crowd
while some disapprove and begin to frown
they proceed to do stuff that is not allowed
Vanity has grown a neat little beard
and wants to dance and be raucously cheered
but all the women have disappeared
for of course he looks extremely weird
Cool belts out the best riff played
on a red fender strat while getting laid
smoking an expensive cuban cigar
and sipping vodka with Gatorade
Lonely hangs out with his dozen friends
and throws them parties and lavishly spends
and calls them strange names like 'spaghetti' and 'bread'
pity! they only exist in his head
Greed slyly eyes the food on my plate
what i will eat and what i ate
Courage stands straight but threatens to sit
Nervous is sweating bit by bit
Broke tries his best to duck the bill
Passion awaits the power of the pill
Cheap hangs around for his fifth free drink
Strange walks in with his hair dyed pink
Stupid gets slapped while trying to blink
Crazy pulls out his tongue with a wink
Lost holds my hand as I try to think
why i have been asked to stand by the sink
and why they haven't even offered me a drink
and why the barman's badge reads S-H-R-I-N-K

-Amit

The Cheat

2010-01-13T02:14:00.001+05:30

She saunters in like she owns the room
swaying, unsteady, almost trips on the broom
that lies carelessly strewn on the kitchen floor
she decides it best be flung out the door
but other important matters await,
its time for business, the clock strikes four

She noisely withdraws the vessels from the box
and starts to impatiently set up shop
By routine, refusing to take each one out
she overturns the lot with a loud shout
As i enter the kitchen, a little smile forms
she takes what she needs and starts to perform

Delicately picking up the spoon in her hand
she willfully waves it around like a wand
pretending she's making an exquisite dish
clanging the pot with every swish
knowing i watch her every move
as she cooks up her imaginary food

the sous-chef now proceeds to serve
what she'd just made and i'd observed
offering to me a full empty cup
that i proceed to praise and drink it up
her sparkling eyes now eagerly await
part deux of this little act we'd made
i begin to laugh and ask for more
the little cheat happily begins to pour

A Time to Cry

2009-12-22T23:54:00.000+05:30

The young lady labours on

another moment and i'll be gone
it is unfair for i'll be free
but will you keep my memory?
though i'll forget
the day we met
for i will be another life
will you still love me, my dear wife?

The young lady labours still

it takes me all my will
to hang on for a little more
of the way you smell, the dress you wore,
your teasing smile that i adored
the stupid names i called you so
the lovely morning on the shore
the secrets only we both know

all of these shall be no more

as the wind drags me to the door
i try so hard to freeze your face
but bit by bit my memory goes
i watch my thoughts of you erased

The lady waits, now i must leave
Bless you, for all the love received
Baby's almost here, goodbye
i take my place
it's time to cry

Six White Birds

2009-12-11T23:31:00.002+05:30

Six white birds overlooking a lake
Perched on a tan-brown limb overhead
Silently watching the ripples in the sky
And the floating body drifting by

One white bird turns to look at me
As i hide my knife and turn to flee
Its piercing blue eyes now holding me back
Did it see me play out my act?

Birds dont talk! Oh what a jest!
So i put the little matter to rest
The birds fly away, guess I am done,
All the birds - save the strangled one

- Amit

Withered

2009-08-02T05:28:00.001+05:30

Fractured drops of light
trying to hide the pain
broken shards of shadow
piercing through the rain
that falls within her eyes
trying hard to explain
things from long ago
memories flitting through the trees
afraid of letting go
winding through the autumn leaves
putting up a show
holding on to random bits
keeping her afloat
withered mind trying hard
to decipher what he wrote
slowly dawns a hint of smile
wondering if he said hello
unknowing, withered hands
clutch a withered farewell note

-Amit

The Photograph

2009-06-18T22:13:00.001+05:30

Matt-finish, black and white
young man, child astride,
trousers flared, collar wide,
a grin adorned by pencil-line

The old man's favorite photograph
not for his child's memories
nor for youth he left behind
yet he stares and stares and cries
to see that faded photograph
the only one he misses most
the one who's missing in that pose
the one who cracked that silly joke
just before the flash and smoke
the one who clicked the photograph
the one who passed on to the ghosts

-Amit

Death of a Liar

2009-06-09T00:35:00.002+05:30

He closes his eyes
and stares at a familiar scene
his 6 year old self, squeaky clean,
waving back to his mom and dad
entering school, first tie he had

Scenes rush by
the young child is child no more
a boy aged 13 sitting in at his proud father's store
lady-shoppers fussing over the winsome lad
as he shyly scribbles out their bills on a pad

The years fast-forward now
the boy has grown,
hot job in tow,
all of 43, suave CEO
on a magazine,
a loving wife, 3 kids
complete the scene

He opens his tired eyes
a life lived full, he smiles

and then laughs at the truth
a wasted youth,
born an orphaned lad
always making up his parents,
and the tie he never had
working as a coolie all his life at a store
always pining to move up to the pad
He'd hated his wife and cheated on her,
and guilt-laden, drunk away the little he had
an outstanding loan and a debt he'd incurred
had since broken his spirit and driven him mad

As he lay now thinking of his time gone by
a life of regret and happiness denied
he blocks out the life that was supposed to flash by
for the last time the old man dreams up his lie

-Amit

The Sale

2009-05-17T07:52:00.002+05:30

I stand in line
at the ticket window
and as my turn arrives
I'm greeted with a smile

"Hi" I say
to the ticket vendor
and check out the list on display

"Is DEATH a stage one jumps off?
Is HAPPINESS a loud applause?
Is LONELINESS an audience refusing to stay?
And is SADNESS a temporary blackout caused
by defunct showlights at the play?"

"I really wouldn't know, Sir"
says he
"I only sell the tickets here.
Though i hear,
Some are happy when the lights go out
Some would kill themselves for applause
Others would jump off just to be alone, Sir
and some would be sad without cause"

"Oh" I say

and turn back to where you stand,
in your red dress, chewing gum,
pop-corn in hand
"What do you want to watch, honey?"
And you reply "We don't have the money
for Happiness, luv.
What's more, the show's at three.
You have a meeting then, remember?"
and i say "Yeah, there goes the matinee"

The man at the window lowers his voice
"You can try SIN, Sir
It is cheap, and fast
and quite a rage these days.
They always clap at the start
and the lights never descend
and though it leaves some broken hearts
and some jump off at the end,
it's not a bad deal, see,"
he winks, "I can even offer you
a buy-one-get-one-free"

"Aha" my interest rises
and i see you're smiling too
"Can't argue with that price" you say
and i say "Sure. Gimme Sin, for two"

Jaagte Raho!

2009-05-17T07:47:00.002+05:30

He wakes with a start
and makes half a salute
and takes in the scene
did anybody notice he'd been
gone again
taking the first flight out
out like a light

He wipes clean his mouth
these breaks now becoming regular bouts
He rubs his eyes, and scratches his belly,
kicks off his shoes to make way for smelly
toes and soles that can make a blind man blink
solely based on their obnoxious stink

An owl hoots in the distance
the moon is high up in the sky
the watchman argues for the n'th time that night
the world is sleeping
why shouldn't I
and having won that round
he proceeds to act on his logic;
the air fills with his sleeping sounds

a silent figure standing poised to strike
lowers his weapon to the ground

-Amit

The Wait

2009-04-16T21:18:00.004+05:30

The old woman waits in her wooden chair
whiling time, much to spare,
fingers moving, beads of prayer
belie an ardent, eager stare

A door bell rings not so far
the woman smiles, it is the hour,
rushes to her window sill
and lovingly waves out to her star

The neighbour's six year old waves back
red water bottle, purple bag
a word or two, he goes indoors
she does the same, to where she sat

-Amit

A Little Blue Wish

2009-04-14T23:03:00.002+05:30

When the feeling comes
it slowly wraps around you
a little scene from memory lane
it surrounds you
and then you go
fly away
on a little blue wish that lights your way
as stars in the night sky fade away
a little blue wish to save your day

Jumping off the edge was never easy
and once you take the step
the rush of air it makes you feel a little dizzy
but then you go
far below
the stars they all burn out to make way
make a little room for your darkness
a little blue wish to save your day

A long and hollow silence soothes your mind
your heart is a mess, you tried your best
but you have been a little unkind
so your heart it ponders on
while your mind walks away arm-in-arm
with pain
and a little sadness keeps it sane
a little darkness lights the way
a little blue wish lets you live another day

-Amit

Child Arrives

2009-04-10T23:01:00.002+05:30

A med report
Couple despairs
Dream is lost
Unanswered prayers

For

Dimpled smile
Two bright eyes
Tiny hands
Cherubic cries

Then

Hope renewed
A children's home
Couple rejoices
Mercy shown

Comes the big day
Anxious dawn
Child arrives
Mother is born

-Amit

The Prompter

2009-04-05T00:38:00.011+05:30

I visit a moment,
a familiar blur
or a frequent dream
that is yet to occur

A dark stage is set,
an unlit concert
and i play out the part
of the prompter, unheard

from the curtains i peep
and watch a strange man weep
besides beasts with masks
who roll their heads and ask
to sing them a fable, and run down his past

but the strange man appears to have forgotten his lines
and the wild beasts continue to feast on their crimes
and his cup overflows as they start to dine
and ambition falls a drop at a time

Should i help this man, from the curtains i stare
undecided i watch in despair,
and, waiting, impatient, comes the end of his strife,
by death of will, and a beast with a knife
as he crumbles down and falls to his knee
the dying man turns to the curtains and me
in horror i watch the blood flow like wine
the strange man's face starts to look like mine
and that's me on my knee and my blood flows like wine
as the strange man peeps from the curtains behind

and black fog rises, and soothes the eyes,
and his teardrops fall,
apologise
for the parts he turned down
for the stage he ignored
when he needed to act
he played the prompter, unheard

-Amit

A song i wish i wrote

2009-03-29T11:53:00.003+05:30

'Everywhere i go' by Willie Nelson
If you listen to it, i bet the first word that comes to your lips is 'haunting!'

Everywhere I Go
- by Willie Nelson

I’ll take you with me everywhere i go
I’ll put you in my pocket who will know ?
Right next to my heart at every show
I’ll take you with me everywhere i go

No matter where our trails will finally wind
Our paths will just keep crossing yours and mine
Until then and in my pocket you must go
I’ll take you with me everywhere i go

No matter where our trails will finally wind
Our paths will just keep crossing yours and mine
Until then and in my pocket you must go
I’ll take you with me everywhere i go
Until then and in my pocket you must go
I’ll take you with me everywhere i go

King of Rock

2009-03-08T16:25:00.001+05:30

Entrusted with the important task
but how do i, i ask
it is simple, i am advised
just hold her close,
hum a bit, rock side to side,
in a sweep

that's all, i inquire?
yep, that's all
i am told
and though i grow cold
and pale
at the thought of it
i psyche myself
be brave, nightingale,
king of snooze,
prince of drowsyland,
chief sandman,
master caretaker of forty winks
harbinger of naps,
etc etc
with such thoughts i proceed
to put the baby in my lap
and start the deed
to rock her into a daze

i set up the scene
on the bed,
and prop us up against a pillow
then,
hold her close - check
hum a bit - check
sway her with a sweep - check

she yawns
good going daddy!
i pat myself on the back
and step up the pace
hum
sway
sweep
hum
sway
sweep
(this is easy i say
ha! who needs sheep)

hum
sway
sweep
hum
sway
sweep

and in a minute or two
bliss
i am fast asleep

An Ode to Haiku

2009-03-03T23:01:00.003+05:30

Overheard,
"Jalapeno and pineapple, please"
i spin

like men
i take it on the chin
and fall

to charms
and peculiar taste
within

i stare
surprised to find another
like me

and what
should have a haiku been
is now poetry

Welcome Home

2009-03-02T00:38:00.007+05:30

You enter the room
the smoke, it chokes
you cannot breathe
you try to find
what you already freed
for reasons unknown
and the tv sings
"welcome home"

you need a seat
real bad
but the circus is out
and swords are rats
and the audience grows loud
in their cage all alone
and the tv sings
"welcome home"

the joker, he smiles
and takes what's his
the queen of spades swoons
and begins to quiz
the king of the ring
but he's out cold
and the tv still sings
"welcome home"

the pencil points
you want to follow
a broken window
and words so hollow
you miss the music that speaks
to your black tears on cheeks,
for the tv's now stole, who will
welcome you home?

My Favorite Demon

2009-03-01T08:37:00.003+05:30

I sit
quietly inside my head
observing demons that i've bred
un-reacting, i choose to stare,
but you go by, like everyday,
and then i blink instead

i follow
everything you do
and every word you've ever said
cos i am just a child,
and you're my favorite bedtime tale
and even when you're not around
i dream you up instead

addicted to my private hell,
the place where all my nightmares dwell
my favorite demon chats me up
and tricks me with a brand new spell
as i watch on with unseeing eyes
fixated, i remain spell-bound
while you're exchanging quick high-fives
and buying my demons another round

and when you're done
and i've returned to oblivion,
and hunting crumbs to happy spaces
my rambling, incoherent mind replaces
all the pain with emptiness,
as bleeding wounds leave clueless traces
my weary spirit yearns to rest

i close my eyes to make my peace

and i find myself,
sitting,
quietly inside my head

observing demons that i've bred
un-reacting, i choose to stare,
but you go by, like everyday,
and then i blink instead

The Deal-Maker

2009-02-19T21:13:00.010+05:30

One sun in the sky
and a million others shining up
from the railway tracks
that lead unto me, everyday
like the million lines on my face
each line for the million times i have prayed
exhaling a million plumes of smoke
that fill the million braids of my hair

You ask me a question,
I close my eyes,
I crease my brow, and nod my ashen-face
as though I've always known you'd come
but all I do
is take a long drag
and stare at you
as your faith stares back
and snares me between the million lies, tracks
that lead away from what is true

I quietly put my conscience away
"Son, you have sinned!", I say,
And you grow pale
"Maharaj, is there a way?"
you ask,
as you tremble with the memories of that frightful day
Another drag; you wait,
as i close my eyes and negotiate
"Sure, but there'll be a price to pay"

And you are happy
to trade your guilt for a hundred rupees
and thank God for deal-makers under trees

As i hoard my own guilt,
and pray to find a deal-maker for me

- Inspired by the powerful 'Immersion', by a friend, Ayan

The Road Taken

2009-01-13T23:18:00.004+05:30

On the way
decided to take the flyover today
for a moment or two
i rise above the city view
eye to eye
with fifth floor skies
then down again
with hoi-polloi
and in my bliss
never knowing what i missed
i flew right over
my dreams today

Ramblings, 02:31:22

2009-01-08T23:12:00.005+05:30

Two cries for the will of this night
and a shout to coax a show of might
the sun can wait, your darkness prevails
this now is mine, it shares my plight

a note or two that make me think
a clever A-minor that does the trick
a quest for rhyme and a stranger gone wrong
lost for words and a perfect string

shining lights, too bright inside
will somebody please turn down this pride
dreams and tramps that beg at my feet
but i'm pre-occupied with pacific noise

puffy eyes, crooked lips
thoughts come knocking, but mind's on a trip
answering machine says "please go away
i'll get back to you, but there'll be a delay"

getting crazy with a piece of wet chalk
we're done with chat, we're yet to talk
two thirty one, and twenty two gone
i yawn
and yet, and yet i stare at the clock

A Kitchen Waltz

2009-01-04T14:25:00.007+05:30

The lights are low, curtains drawn,
a kitchen waltz, the radio's on,
we're in a sway, i'm in a fix
i get a feeling something's wrong
and from your shoulder i lift my head,
and see my fears come along
and though the radio plays our song,
in my head, all i can think
is, hold on to this
tight, hold on

with mellow tune and shuffling feet
i try my best to keep the beat
a tender moment drags me along
my worries melt, i'm only yours
but just for now
which is all my troubles will allow
and as i twirl
and as you twirl, i see you smile
and i wonder
did i miss a trick you seemed to know
as we move across the kitchen floor
i catch your eye
and in that moment i ask you why
and time slows down for your reply
but all you do is lift your head
and smile again and hug my chest
and though the radio's long been dead,
it's still playing in my head,
and i'm still singing our song,
babe, hold on
to me, tight, hold on

Thoughts for a New Year

2008-12-29T23:47:00.002+05:30

The still, silent night
is fading away
dawn is smiling
and promises day
a little tree yawns
and rustles its leaves
a gentle draught blows
and sweeps the streets
a lone highway truck
rumbles by
a trembling road
shudders and sighs
flaps in the wind
and chirps in the sky
the birds are waking up now
when will i

A Prayer for the Damned

2008-12-21T14:49:00.000+05:30

Revenge on my mind
replays of the deed spinning
slowly as my pain rewinds
to see the winking, smiling face
revulsion brashly winding up around
to force my hand, but
Mozart's fifth playing softly slows me down
far-away-look peers into time
and best-served-cold it comes to town

Nurturing father, me
the potter, fate, my child of clay,
scheming into night, the plotter,
bringing hate to life and play,
bottled and preserved, a moment,
by a cold heart lest it strays,
stalking memories in the dark
lest they lose their way

As i gently run my fingers
through his mangled, evil hairs,
to the restless demon on a leash
i whisper Godless prayers
"Patience, patience, child, thy will be done,
like the wisdom of things that chime
slowly but surely you must bide your time,
forgive not, forget not their trespasses, this crime shall pay,
and twisted justice will be delivered
and see the light of day"

-Amit

The Road

2008-12-19T23:48:00.000+05:30

A young boy wide awake at his old man's feet
staring up at purple sky watching it turn bleak
his little heart chained by his father's last words
his soul imprisoned by what he'd just heard
he shudders at the thought of what he must complete
and bids a brave adieu to his life in this street
though fear rings loudly at the doors of his mind
and blinking eye gives way, and tears spring forth
the young boy turns back one last time
and packs his small bag and changes his road

-Amit